I've been told that my 3rd baby is a boy. It's a new foreign thing to me. I have 2 girls and I'm so used to girls now, but one thing that has been interesting to say the least is a MUCH more enthusiastic reaction to having a boy I've experienced. I have never experienced this before. People are super stoked it's a boy - people throwing their arms up in the air, clapping their hands, exclaiming! This was not my experience with my 2nd girl at all neither my first. I never got any negative feedback on having a 2nd girl - possibly a few 'are you going to try for a boy next?' a few too many times. My response was always 'no way'. I had been warned - don't try for anything because you have no control over the gender. I wasn't set on a boy or girl but I wasn't about to put all my cards on boy and then find out it was a girl. In fact, I psyched myself to expect and want a 3rd girl - I know how to raise them, how to deal with them, everything is set in this house for girl. It would be easy. However, it was a nice surprise to hear we'd be adding a little variety to the family. But I'm somewhat convinced now that people favor boys over girls when it comes to having babies. What do you think?
A few people are saying 'it's because you have 2 girls already, that's why.' But I don't know - is that really the only reason? Any moms out there with only boys are 2-3 boys and a girl? Did you get the same reaction when you announced girl? When you had a 3rd boy, were you met with disappointment? Healthy babies are healthy babies in my book but it is a very interesting study in humanity to be going through this.
If what I'm experiencing is true, then I do really feel bad for girls the world over - discrimination may start within the womb itself even before they are born! I am from a family of 2 girls only and so I don't have any reference for what it is like to be raised with a brother.
My best friend has 3 boys so I consulted with her. She noticed a reduction in enthusiasm when the 3rd was a boy. So maybe it is just having the variety between genders that gets people so excited. I guess I just feel on the continuum of problems in the world, not having a boy or a girl is probably very low on that continuum. But it's also just small talk for people, a place where we can all relate in some way. She is an only child and I guess I had her pegged for a pretty girly girl. Not in the sense that she was always wearing ribbons and dresses or anything, but just that she seemed to relate to girls more than boys. So I could see her wanting to have the experience of raising a girl and doing all the cool things she did as a child. She used to press flowers and do a lot of crafty things, not that she can't do that with her boys. So I empathize with her desire to have that experience. She also said that if she had had a girl on the second child, she may have stopped at 2 kids rather than 3.
On my side I guess having a boy I could see it as more of a benefit for my husband. He has never intimated that he preferred one over the other and he was actually quite content with two girls. So our having another was not to try for a boy. I guess I feel like it's nice for OTHER people. He will have someone to relate a bit more to and maybe I'll possibly have less of a clingy baby this time around? I dunno, maybe he'll be a mama's boy! Either way I'm thankful for what we have!
Michelle – could be true. In Chinese culture, there’s definitely a skew but many of my friends have told me that it’s changing in some ways. It used to be boys were favored but now with such a deficit of boys and with the financial responsibility a boy has to support two sets of grandparents, many parents now happily welcome girls. There, they do not allow determining the gender in advance although there are ways to find out in spite of that. But, yes, I guess for many Americans it’s more about having the experience of raising both genders. Having children is such a blessing and on the scale of things, it seems like a small thing to focus on in the overall scheme of things especially when so many women struggle with conceiving and fertility. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments!
As I said on Instagram, people are thrilled with both genders. A friend of mine has three boys and they were a bit disappointed with the last boy. They even chose girls names. My mother-in-law, has four boys and would have tried again for a girl. My family was so happy when we had our boy because we are a family of girls where my husbands’ family was a bit less excited because they only have boys. It’s really not a boys VS girls thing. We are not in India. People want both genders. :-)
I think people assume that everyone wants at least one of each or both genders. I love my daughter but didn’t care if it was a boy or girl when I was pregnant. I know some people always dream of having one or the other but that wasn’t me.
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Always A Parent is my blog about parenting, business, entrepreneurship, pregnancy, and motherhood. MULTIWEAR® is my product design business selling products for busy moms, nursing and breastfeeding moms as well as diaper bags and gym bags.
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